Three things that slipped through my fingers, which are gone forever

This post is dedicated to my first very special person. I can’t tell things that I want to tell him directly or indirectly. So I am not going to say anything to him. Instead I am going to tell everything to you. By that I am saying everything without telling him anything. You will never know who he is. But if he ever gets to read this he will know right away this is for him. The thing I wanted tell him and couldn’t tell him, things that never happens and always wished to happen all those things I will tell you. Girls are like ice cream bars he would say. Yes he had lot of experience with girls. But I was the only one who could sit under his shadow. You may think I am fooling myself. But if you look deep within his heart you will see me reflected on him. We are both alike whatever we told ourselves. And those similarities of ourselves are pushing us far away from each other. its like same from same magnet end and two similar magnet fields will not attract together. That must be the one of the reasons that we couldn’t be together.

I was walking to the shop. I needed some thing to buy urgently. I don’t like walking alone. I always wanted to walk with someone by my side. I always wanted someone special in my side with the every step I took. It was then he suddenly appear before me. In my unconscious mind I wished him to come by my side. I wanted him to accompany me to the shop. Once in my life to be felt that there is someone by my side. He doesn’t smile much. But when he smiles, its like thousand blue tulips blossoms. You can see through to his soul through his smile. He smiled at me with that smile. I was mesmerized. But I shook off the shock and collect myself before he gets close. I was myself when he reached me. Where are you going? He asked me.

I stated the purpose of my trip.

Shall I come with you? The words that I waited so long to hear, he is saying them. I so wanted tell him yes. Yes, yes please do walk with me.

No, I’ll be fine. Instead I told him. He was little bit disappointed. I saw that with his failing smile. But he had no idea how disappointed I was with me. My life just slipped through my fingers.

There are lot of explanation I could give to justify my actions. But I will not. Because now I know that it doesn’t matter anymore. They say that there are three things in life once gone that never come back. One is time (the time that I could spend with him) second is words (the word uttered “no” as my answer could never be replaced by yes which I wanted to say) and third is opportunity (the opportunity to get you know better) I let them all slip away in a fraction of time. And they never came back as well. That moment was lost forever.

And now not to fade away from my memory and his memory I as going to save that moment in this post. It will be preserve with these words and all your minds, so finally I could do some justice for that moment.