End of the day

Thank God, end of the day I am really calmed down. It was very disturbing day but I thought myself a lot. First of all he called me couple of times. I didn't expect him to call me. Yes I might have wished call from him. But I thought after what he told me last time we spoke at the night we said goodbye and the next time indifference voice of his, he wouldn't call me again. So I didn't expect him to call me. So once he called me I was devastated, with the temptation to answer him, hearing of his voice and my mind demanding not to answer and warning me not to be weak in front of him. So I didn't answer. Instead I send him a msg saying that since he left me, not to call me again. I received a reply very interesting one. Sry. Tc. Bs.

Hehe... Its not actually laughing matter. When I receive that msg, I was on the bus going for some errand out of house. From the moment I saw that msg I couldn't stop my tears. I cried all the way to the destination. Yes I Know it is very embarrassing. Even then also I realized that but I was so upset I couldn't stop my tears. So I will explain why I was upset actually.

First it is important to understand the meaning of the msg. Sry he send. Why is he apologizing? It could be because he is sorry for leaving me or because he is causing me pain. Ok then if he is apologizing, apologize to be successful it should fulfill three conditions.
1) There should be a mistake on his part and he has understood his mistake and is willing to correct it.
2) It should be sincere in another words it should come from bottom of his heart.
3) Most importantly he should be committed not to make the same mistake again.

So why does he said sorry. In the first assumption it is because he left me. Then he should be willing to come back to me, and felt really sorry for that and is willing to stay with me (not to leave me again)

In the second scenario if it is because he hurt me, then he must be willing to make up to his mistake, should really understand my pain and feel sorry for me, and should commit not to hurt me again.

So in the msg, it was so hard for me to decode what was his actual intention of saying sry. I never doubt his sincerity of saying sry. He might have fulfill the second condition, but without other two not being fulfilled it just became only a word.

So it was only a word from him. If he is really sry for his ex girl friend, there are two options for him.
1) Is that he could come back and apologize all the things he said and promise me that he would stay with me and promise me that he wouldn't go away.
2) Is that he could forget me, stop calling me, making his own life and allowing me to make up my mind.

If he is failing to do these both things means he is expecting me to love him while he is not in love with me. I totally understand he is not being love with me. I made the mistake. He ask me to take decision. He told me this is the way I am going to treat you, if you ok with it stay with me otherwise leave me. I waited for whole month hoping that he would make up his mind. I bore many heart breaking situations quite bravely.