Walk was not a walk without you

This post is for someone very special. I can’t tell things that I want to tell him directly or indirectly. So I am not going to say anything to him. Instead I am going to tell everything to you. By that I am saying everything without telling him anything.  You will never know who he is. But if he ever gets to read this he will know right away this is for him. The thing I wanted tell him and couldn’t tell him, things that never happens and always wished to happen all those things I will tell you. So here start my first post which is dedicated to my first love. Girls are like ice cream bars he would say. Yes he had lot of experience of girls. But I was the only one who could sit under his shadow. You may think I am fooling myself. But if you look deep within his heart you will see me reflected on him. We are both alike what ever we told ourselves. That must be the one of the reasons that we couldn’t be together.

I was walking to the shop. I needed some things to buy urgently. I don’t like walking alone. I always wanted to walk with someone by my side. I always wanted someone special in my side with the every step I took. It was then he suddenly appeared before me. In my unconscious mind I wished him to come by my side. I wanted him to accompany me to the shop. Once in my life to be felt that there is someone by my side. He doesn’t smile much. But when he smiles, its like thousand blue tulips blossoms. You can see through to his soul through his smile. He smiled at me opening the gateway to his soul. I was mesmerized. But I shook off the shock and collect myself before he gets closer. I was myself when he reached me. Where are you going? He asked me.

I state the purpose of my trip.

Shall I come with you? The words that I waited so long to hear, he is saying them. I so wanted tell him yes. Yes, yes please do walk with me.

No, I’ll be fine. Instead I told him. He was little bit disappointed. I saw that with his failing smile. But he had no idea how disappointed I was with myself. My life just slipped through my fingers.

There is lot of explanations I could give to justify my actions. (Pride, stupidity or any other complicated totally justifiable reason.) But I will not. Because now I know that it doesn’t matter anymore. They say that there are three things in life once gone that never come back. One is time (the time that I could spend with him) second is words (the word uttered “no” as my answer could never be replaced by yes which I wanted to say) and third is opportunity (the opportunity to get him know better). I succeed in loosing all three of those things in a fraction of time that day. And certainly once they were gone they never came back.

And now not to fade away from my memory and his memory I as going to save that moment in this post. It will be preserve with these words and all your minds, so finally I could do some justice for that moment.